


five thousand words to describe a galaxy at war

by That_Ghost_Kristoff, TheElusiveBadger



Series: into the desert [10]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Communication, Crack Treated Seriously, Epistolary, F/M, Force Demigod Anakin Skywalker, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mental Health Issues, News Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:47:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29736174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Ghost_Kristoff/pseuds/That_Ghost_Kristoff, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheElusiveBadger/pseuds/TheElusiveBadger
Summary: An epistolary account of the Clone Wars through tabloid articles, military reports, text messages, holo-cinema reviews, receipts, and grocery lists.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: into the desert [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2135958
Comments: 11
Kudos: 89





	five thousand words to describe a galaxy at war

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the first fic where you really need to have read at least some of the others to have an idea of what's going on. We basically had to make up dates based on the C.R.C., logical, and general fiddling we needed for the series. 
> 
> PS, we know it's weird. 
> 
> Also PS, we really love Luminara.

_The Solar Times_

A GALAXY AT WAR!: SEPARATIST ALLIANCE FAILS IN ILLEGALLY EXECUTING THREE LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS OF THE REPUBLIC, INCLUDING NABOO SENATOR PADMÉ AMIDALA

_Osil Nale | 7955.18.22_

**PRIVATE COMCODE**

**_[7955.15.06]_ **

_NEW COMCODE  
_ _BLOCK?_

Ani? Ani, it’s me. My comlink broke in an unfortunate accident. Are you okay?!  
 _03:17_

does this have anything to do with the hutt in coruscant  
 _03:17_

He owes me money for the new comlink  
 _03:18_

a hutt won’t pay you money for a com  
I got a new padawan  
her name is Ahsoka  
I think she’s me  
 _03:20_

They’re letting you teach?!!!!  
Did you ask for a padawan?  
 _03:25_

no but Obi-Wan did. for himself  
Yoda hates me. it was his idea. are you still free for dinner  
 _03:26_

Yes, but are you? Shouldn’t you be with your new padawan? What if she gets suspicious?   
Yoda doesn’t hate you  
 _3:28_

… _typing_

**_CERTIFICATE OF NATURALISATION_  
** as a  
Citizen of the Galactic Republic

The Galactic Senate, in exercise of the powers granted by the Fourth Republic Nationalisation Act of 6062, hereby grants this certificate of naturalisation to the lifeform named below, who shall be a 

R E P U B L I C C I T I Z E N  
from the date of authorisation

**_PETITION FOR NATURALISATION, ORIGINAL_ **

_FULL NAME OF APPLICANT:_ Anakin Skywalker  
 _PLACE AND DATE OF BIRTH:_ N/A, Tatooine; 7936.01.04 (Approximated)  
 _PLANEATIONALITY:_ N/A  
 _PARENTAGE, MOTHER:_ ~~N/A~~ Shmi Lars, Tatooine citizen  
 _PARENTAGE, FATHER:_ N/A  
 _PARENTAGE, GUARDIAN:_ N/A  
 _SPONSOR FOR NATURALISATION:_ Jedi Order  
 _REPUBLIC ADDRESS:_ Jedi Temple, Senate District, Galactic City, Coruscant

**_SIGNATURE OF APPLICANT, GUARDIAN, OR REPRESENTATIVE:_ **Obi-Wan Kenobi  
 ** _DATE:_ ** 7945.14.05 ****

**_APPROVED BY:_** Sheev Palpatine, Supreme Chancellor  
 ** _DATE OF APPROVAL:_** 7945.19.05

_See reverse side for additional documentation_

**_EDITED_ ** 7955.21.06

[DATE FILED] _7956.05.02_

[MEMBER] _Aayla Secura, Knight_

[LOCATION] _Maridun System, Outer Rim Territories_

[REPORT]

In the aftermath of the Battle of Quell, and my request for aid in battle from Knight Anakin Skywalker, General of the 501st Legion, being answered, our combined forces, the 501st Legion under General Anakin Skywalker’s command, as well as the 327th Star Corps under my, General Aayla Secura’s, command, were able to survive the crash landing of our ship, a Charger c70 retrofit, damaged by Seperatist forces, on an unknown planet in the Maridun System, with minimal casualties. Among the survivors were myself, Padawan Learner to General Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, Clone Commander CC-5052 of the 327th Star Corps, Clone Captain CC-7567 of the 501st Legion. In the ensuing battle and subsequent crash, General Anakin Skywalker was grievously injured. 

In the absence of any known settlements or civilian structures, General Anakin Skywalker was left near the crash site under the care of Clone Captain CC-7567, while Padawan Ahsoka Tano and myself, along with other survivors, set out to scout the area for medical assistance, food, and potentially hidden Seperatist forces. We were aided by the villagers of a local community composed of the sentient species, Lurmen, who provided medical care to General Anakin Skywalker. Due to our crash landing on the planet, the Lurmens came under the attention of the Seperatist forces, as were thus subsequently confronted by them. Ultimately, under the direction of General Anakin Skywalker and myself, the Lurmens were able to push the Separatists out of their village. 

**_Signed:_ ** _Aayla Secura  
_ ** _Date:_ ** _7956.05.02_

**SOLA NABERRIE**

**_[7956.26.02]_ **

Why does Mama keep asking Darred to fix the laundry droid?!!!!!!!!! He’s an artist!!!!!!!!   
_15:15_

_The Solar Times_

JEDI GENERALS OBI-WAN KENOBI AND ANAKIN SKYWALKER THWART SEPARATIST ALLIANCE ATTEMPT TO REVIVE DEADLY BLUE SHADOW VIRUS

_Osil Nale | 7956.15.03_

  
  


_The Solar Times_

DEADLY BEAST ATTACKS HEART OF CORUSCANT: HEROIC EFFORTS OF THE JEDI ORDER AND THE GALACTIC ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC SAVE CITY FROM COMPLETE DESTRUCTION

 _Kol Ayl_ _|_ _7956.35.03_

Three days ago, Coruscanti citizens were shocked to see holo imagers, or for those unfortunates in range of the attack, of a large, rampaging beast. The damage to life and property is still being calculated, but estimates hold that billions of credits worth of loss was the result of this terrifying beast’s deadly attempt to strike at the heart of the Republic. Though early reports stated that Chancellor Sheev Palpatine was badly wounded in the attack, citizens can rest assured that sources close to Chancellor Sheev Palpatine have relayed that he is unharmed and currently convalescing in the Chancellor’s holiday retreat while efforts to rebuild the Senate Building and senatorial apartments are underway. 

But what do we know about this brutal attack on our sovereign planet? Sources within the Jedi Order told Osil Nale that the destructive beast was of suspected sentience. Therefore, they undertook action to take the beast to Coruscant from its homeworld of Malastrade due to their concern for the preservation of its life and endangered species. If these reports are true, I can only say that this holojournalist believes it to be the height of ingratitude that the Republic’s kindness was repaid with broken speeders and smashed transparisteel falling through our airways! Though the creature was shot down by the heroic and timely efforts of the Jedi and the Galactic Army of the Republic, this holojournalist does wonder whether this shocking moment in Coruscanti history will forever scar our beloved planet, and if our citizens will ever feel safe again. 

**THE TEAM**

just had to deal with Luminara and her padawan ugh  
 _01:00_

You mean Master Luminara? She _is_ an exemplary Jedi in her capacity  
 _01:02  
_ … _typing_

yeah, in her capacity  
she told me to get over Ahsoka when I could feel she was still alive  
Barriss was still alive  
Barriss wasn’t the nicest when we were kids but it was still messed up  
don’t they have a training bond??????  
 _01:05_

Every Master and Padawan relationship has a training bond.   
Master Luminara must have weighed the options in battle and concluded that the padawans were either beyond reach or could help themselves.  
Self-sufficiently is encouraged and to be commended. In certain aspects of training.  
 _01:08_

Ahsoka helped herself  
my padawan  
the new padawan  
 _01:08_

Are you implying something about Padawan Offee, my former apprentice?  
 _01:09_

maybe…  
 _01:09_

I’ll pretend I don’t know what you mean. Master Luminara once told me that she’d release the pain of my stubbed toe into the Force.   
We were fourteen.  
 _01:12_

when I was fourteen Barris was still being one of the ones in the reflect  
refractories  
refectories  
 _01:15_

Oh, was she now?   
Well, I hope that attitude is changed under Master Lumina’s careful tutelage.  
 _01:17_

Master I-Will-Release-Your-Pain-Into-The-Force Luminara?  
 _01:17_

Yes.   
Though I did try to inform her that’s not how the Force works.  
 _01:18_

well I’m sure she’d do it with mine if she’d let MY PADAWAN die  
 _01:18_

She would consider it an act of kindness, Anakin.   
It is her way.  
 _01:20_

I haven’t told Ahsoka  
she’s making friends with Barris  
 _01:21_

Release your feelings into the Force, Anakin.  
 _01:21_

only if you do it for me, Master Obi-Wan  
 _01:21_

…. _typing_

this is THE GROUP CHAT   
why are you two talking shit about my friend Barriss? she was so much help!!!!!!!! She’s capable af I can learn a lot from her  
 _01:22_

…. _typing_

…. _typing_

**WE WANT** **_YOU_ ** **TO FIGHT FOR THE GALACTIC ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC!  
** **SHOW YOUR LOYALTY TO YOUR GALAXY BY VOLUNTEERING FOR THE WAR EFFORT!**

BENEFITS INCLUDE: RECOGNITION, HEALTHCARE, AND A SEASONAL BONUS SENT TO YOUR FAMILY  
WE LOOK FORWARD TO RECEIVING YOUR APPLICATION

Apply at your nearest recruiting station. Subject to tests regarding fitness for active duty. 

**CAPTAIN REX 501ST**

Commander, have you seen General Kenobi do anything...strange?  
 _21:00_

Strange?  
 _21:01_

Like, lift rocks and boulders and stuff  
 _21:01_

Yes. It’s called being a Jedi.  
 _23:19_

I know that.  
like funnel clouds….tornadoes  
He made a tornado, sir  
 _23:58_

Skywalker?  
You’re sure it wasn’t just the weather? It was Geonosis  
 _06:31_

eighty percent sure  
it ended when he calmed  
As much as he ever is  
And the other Jedi said something to him about it  
 _06:32_

If you’re sure  
But no General Kenobi’s never made a tornado  
 _06:33_

Damn  
Have to prepare the men for all sorts of weather phenomenamon   
phenomenon  
 _06:59_

**CoCo Town Flimsiplasts  
** **No. 000160073**

**_______________________________________________**

**Cashire:** Tomyr Primoh

_Younglings and Trauma: Pocket-Guide for Parents of Traumatised Younglings_

…8,50 cred

_Working with Developmental Trauma in Late Adolescents_

…16,00 cred

_Breaking Free Workbook: Practical Help for Survivors of the Slave Trade_

…9,25 cred

 **Total** … 33,75 cred

**GENERAL KENOBI**

**_[7956.16.04]_ **

Lady Naberrie, I would like to extend my most gracious thanks for your part in our talk with General Skywalker.  
 _17:07_

Hi General Kenobi. I hope it did help. Please let me know if you need any advice in the future. Jxx  
 _18:56_

**Rotten Topato**

HOLO-CINEMA REVIEW: First screening of Marponi’s _The Last of the Mandalorians_ deserves to be the last of Marponi’s works, critics say

_7956.01.09_

_Rating:_ 1/5 rotten topatos

How to describe the cinematic failure that is _The Last of the Mandalorians?_ Famed holo-cinema critic Lune Morey claims that it’s “an insult to the genre of historical fiction.” Based around the ancient conflict between the Mandalorians and the Jedi, the same one that devastated the planet of Mandalore, it trivialises a significant and defining moment in the history of both cultures by reducing it to a sordid love story with bland characters, predictable plot, and unimaginative cinematography. No one working on the film was either Mandalorian or Jedi (not that a Jedi would ever bother to act, but the point stands), so any “passion” behind the project is lackluster at best and culturally exploitative at worst. 

**_submitted by:_ ** ontheblurgg

_The Solar Times_

CONVICTED CRIME LORD ZIRO THE HUTT ESCAPES INCARCERATION; JEDI GENERAL ANAKIN SKYWALKER SAVES HOSTAGES IN SENATE, INCLUDING NABOO SENATOR PADMÉ AMIDALA

_Osil Nale | 7956.26.10_

……... In the pursuit of crime lord, Ziro the Hutt, and the bounty hunting team led by the infamous Cad Bane, Jedi peacekeepers were unable to prevent the tragic loss of property damage in Level 1313 of Galactic City. During the escape, Cad Bane’s extraction team shot down the engine of a ship, causing the ship to lose control and careen dangerously towards a heavily populated landing platform. Although the Jedi were able to prevent the tragic loss of life at the landing platform, they were unable to prevent total destruction in Galactic City, sources say. One lifeform, Rafa Martez, told reporter Kol Ayl that “my parents were killed in the destruction, and all the Jedi gave us were bantha s*** words about the will of the Force”. They, along with several other underworld families, were forced to see the complete obliteration of their homes, and with no public recourse forthcoming from the Galactic Senate, this holojournalist suspects that there may be some backlash in the upcoming weeks. 

**SENATOR ORGANA**

Was wrong it’s the three of them. She was holding a lightsaber during the hostage situation  
Why would they leave one in her care?  
 _12:22_

Is this about Amidala and Kenobi again?  
 _15:22_

Yes and Skywalker.  
 _15:27_

Skywalker???  
 _15:34_

He was there during the hostage crisis  
Why was he even in the Senate building?   
I’ll tell you why!!!!!! It’s the three of them.   
She asks for him as escort all the time  
 _16:02_

Escort.  
Wait you think they’re all having sex? All of them?  
In her office?  
 _16:02_

My eyes!!!! (narrowly escaped)   
I’m not saying they are, but I am also not saying they aren’t :)  
Don’t you think Kenobi and Skywalker are close?   
They’re always arguing, and really!!!! close   
Like Breha and I. <3  
 _16:41_

Honestly I thought Skywalker was more like his kid.  
 _20:41_

Oh.  
Well, I’m right about ONE of them and her. I know it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
 _23:58_

**AUDITION CALL!**

Galaxies Opera House is proud to present:

 _Jedi on the Roof  
_ a Coruscanti operetta by **Sefries** and **Zoltana**

AUDITION NOW at Galaxies Opera House, Uscru District, Galactic City, Coruscant

**ANI**

Swing by Tatooine and return Threepio  
 _13:15_

can we ship him in a box  
 _13:16_

They couldn’t pick him up, I didn’t get their comcode.  
 _13:16_

I’m on Christophsis again can it wait  
 _13:20_

 _It’s been waiting_   
He’s a bother to my handmaidens.   
He complains they’re not doing things properly  
They want to melt him down  
 _13:22_

have at it need to go seppies are here  
 _13:22_

**Galactic Republic Navy Damage Report**

**__________________**

**No. 0000016027.115.09**

Complete and return to Risk and Assessment in the Department of Naval Procurement, Senate Building, Federal District, Galactic City, Coruscant.

 **Command Jurisdiction:** Jedi Order  
 **Officer Information:**

 **Full Name:** Anakin Skywalker  
 **Rank:** General  
 **Clone Unit No.:** 501

 **Date of Incident:** 7957.14.02  
 **Location:** Christophsis   
**Starfighter Class:** Eta-2 _Actis_ -class light interceptor  
 **Description of Damage:** Complete  
 **Repair:** Y **/N  
** **Replacement: Y/** N

 **Officer filling out this form:** General Anakin Skywalker  
 **Officer signature:** _Anakin Skywalker  
_ **Date of filing:** _7957.15.02_

**MASTER FISTO**

**_[YESTERDAY]_ **

think they found sushi  
 _11:45_

They? Sushi?  
 _18:04_

the boys and young ‘Soka think they went looking for sushi?  
 _20:02_

In Wild Space? For three days?  
It’s Kenobi. It was a diner.  
 _20:48_

need to ask him where it was  
tired of these rations  
 _20:48_

It was a diner. I guarantee it.  
 _21:15_

i’ll get him to talk  
 _21:38_

I’ve asked little ‘Soka. She denies it.  
 _14:07_

:(  
i miss sushi  
ration packs sux  
 _17:14_

_Younglings and Trauma_

**CHAPTER 7**

**______________________________________________________________________**   
  


**Supporting a youngling who has been sexually abused**

Discovering, or even suspecting, that your child has been sexually abused can take a toll on you as a parent. This chapter will provide you with the tools necessary to create a safe space for your child that is free of blame, judgement, or harm. It is, first and foremost, important for you, as the parent, to manage your own feelings when you broach the subject with your child. Remember to always reiterate these messages in your actions in words in the first and following discussions:

  * This is not your fault
  * I love you
  * I am here to keep you safe



What can I expect from my child?

The effects of sexual violence on a survivor are psychological, emotional, and physical. Frequently, these effects are difficult to handle, both for the youngling and for the parent, but with the right help and support, managing them is not impossible. It is heavily recommended that both the youngling and the parent see separate minders. For a parent, learning more from a professional will help you find the best method of care for your child. Effects that may, but will not necessarily appear, are to be discussed in more detail late in the chapter. They are: 

  * Depression 
  * Post-traumatic stress disorder
  * Disassociation 
  * Panic or anxiety attacks
  * Substance abuse



_167_

_The Solar Times_

TRAGIC ACCIDENT IN THE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT: VALIANT GENERAL OBI-WAN KENOBI WAS BRUTALLY STRUCK DOWN BY PERFIDIOUS BOUNTY HUNTER RAKO HARDEEN

_Kol Ayl | 7957.11.07_

**ANI**

**_[7957.11.07]_ **

I’m sorry about Obi-Wan. How are you doing?  
 _09:30_

**_[7957.14.07]_ **

Ani?  
 _12:30_

**_[7957.23.07]_ **

It’s been a few weeks. Is everything all right at the Temple?  
 _18:21_

**_[7957.26.07]_ **

_Outgoing call… 20:46_

**_[7957.32.07]_ **

Ani?  
 _07:14_

_The Solar Times_

MIRACULOUS RESURRECTION: THE VENERABLE GENERAL OBI-WAN KENOBI FOILED EVIL PLOT BY COUNT DOOKU BY FAKING DEATH AND INGRATIATING HIMSELF WITH LOWLIFES TO STOP ASSASSINATION OF CHANCELLOR SHEEV PALPATINE

_Kol Ayl | 7957.01.08_

  
  


**LADY NABERRIE**

**_[7957.03.08]_ **

So, General Kenobi. I hear you’re alive. Congratulations. My daughter was a wreck and I’m more than certain that MY SON IN LAW was beside himself. They deserve apologies. Jxx.  
 _04:05_

…. _typing  
_ My sincerest apologies for any distress I caused your daughter. I regret that circumstances beyond my control meant that only a small group of trusted allies were informed of this mission.  
I hope you mean Darred.  
 _04:15_

No I mean ANAKIN. These Jedi laws are archaic.   
Are you really going to ruin their chance at happiness? In the middle of a war? He’s an important general! Just because the Jedi say none of you are allowed to have emotions? Healthy emotions? Jxx.  
 _04:30_

…. _typing  
_ Madam, why must you put me in this position? I’VE JUST COME BACK FROM THE DEAD! I deserve rest. Goodnight.  
 _04:35_

_Incoming call from Lady Naberrie… 04:36_

Sincerely, thank you.  
 _07:11_

[DATE FILED] _7957.20.10_

[MEMBER] ~~_Anakin Skywalker_ _, Knight_~~

[LOCATION] _Coruscant_

[REPORT]

Saw C. in S.R. following request for private meeting. C. asked after well-being and inquired after the Council’s decision about Raydonia. ~~C. assumed~~ ~~C. implied Council had withheld the truth about K. I suspect~~ C. claims to have heard about Raydonia from the Council; M.W. and P.K. think this is untrue. C. mentioned a second upcoming military funding bill (approx. 7958.01) ~~and asked if I heard about it from my other contacts in~~ and the responsibility of expanding emergency powers. ~~I suspect I suspect~~

**BESSIES**

**_[7957.35.10]_ **

**@** Hondo do you have rocket launchers?  
 _03:29  
_ Hondo?  
Hondo?  
Hondo?  
Hondo?  
Hondo?  
you betting fucking answer  
better  
 _03:40_

I have no knowledge of the weapon of which you speak  
 _03:41_

it’s an emergency  
I’m not looking to drag you in for piracy  
I’m looking to buy  
 _03:42_

Why didn’t you say so?   
I may know some things about some things  
How many?   
Credits are useless  
 _03:45_

however many can take down HMP droid gunships  
I’ll fix everything at your base for free  
your speeders are shit  
 _03:46_

i’ve lost four men in the last month  
Still, it’s risky  
 _03:49  
_ … _typing  
_ I’ll do it  
 _04:00_

[DATE FILED] _7958.03.01_

[MEMBER] _Ahsoka Tano, Padwan Learner to Anakin Skywalker, Knight_

[LOCATION] _Iziz, Onderon_

[REPORT]

Final report regarding the training mission of insurgency fighters on Onderon. Though the ~~tragic~~ unexpected loss of insurgent leader, Steela Gerrera, is a heavy blow to the efforts of this small group, her methods and leadership skills helped the legitimate king of Onderon, Ramsis Dendup, survive an unlawful occupation by Seperatist allie and usurper, Sanjay Rash. The mission was a success in terms of providing military means and tactics to the small, struggling band, and Onderon, under the reinstated leadership of King Ramsis Dendup, has pledged to join the Galactic Republic.

 **_Signed:_ ** _Ahsoka Tano_ **_  
_****_Date:_ ** _7958.03.01_

**WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE THIS**

**_[7958.17.01]_ **

Skywalker why was your baby babysitting a bunch of small ones? She _ruined_ my heist!!!!  
 _18:11_

Hondo What happened with Ahsoka?  
Is she all right?  
 _18:12_

what are you talking about? if you hurt my padawan I will break everything I fixed  
 _18:12_

Ahsoka harmed? By me? Never! You besmirch my good name!   
She’s the one who harmed _me_!!!!!!!!  
 _18:21_

Ahsoka will tell us if this is true.  
 _18:22_

Kenobi teenagers _exaggerate_. Is it not true that Skywalker is one?!!  
 _18:24_

you don’t know me  
 _18:24_

He’s 21. But Ahsoka doesn’t exaggerate. At least not as much. We will discover the truth. Mark my words.  
 _18:26_

_The Solar Times_

TRAGEDY AMONG HOLOVISION PROGRAMMES: 26TH SEASON OF GREAT GALACTIC BAKE OFF CANCELLED DUE TO SEPARATIST BLOCKADE OF STEWJON

_Osil Nale | 7958.31.01_

**CAPTAIN REX 501ST**

Commander Cody, we should discuss Fives  
 _19:32_

Where are we meeting?  
 _19:36_

79’s  
 _19:37_

Be there 20:00  
 _19:37_

_The Solar Times_

TERROR IN THE HEART OF THE REPUBLIC: FOREMAN JACKAR BOWMANI STRIKES SACRED JEDI TEMPLE IN AN ACT OF SUICIDE BOMBING

_Kol Ayl | 7958.14.02_

**DORME**

Can you go to a shop and get me a test, please?   
A pregnancy test  
 _02:18_

On it  
 _02:24_

_Groceries_

  * blue grapes
  * ~~caf~~
  * honey
  * sardines
  * nerf butter
  * nuna eggs
  * olive oil and olives
  * ~~pallie wine~~
  * salt
  * plums
  * ~~seagrape brandy~~
  * pumpkin
  * crumpets
  * sherbert fruit
  * jogan fruit
  * flour
  * burmillet and ginger noodles 
  * golden truffle
  * ~~blossom wine~~



**ANGEL**

Ani, where did you throw my favorite nightgown? It’s lost  
 _00:11_

Hi, Padmé. This is Obi-Wan. I don’t know where your nightgown is and Ani is otherwise engaged with his padawan. How are you?  
 _00:13_

Oh  
Bit peeved  
It’s my favorite  
How are you?  
 _00:23_

Bit peeved  
I suspect our promised shipment of insect repellent is not coming. :(  
 _00:24_

How tragic  
Is there anything I can do to help?  
 _00:27_

Only if you have sway in the Procurement Office  
But I appreciate the offer  
 _00:28_

No sway  
:(  
 _00:28_   
Do you know when General Skywalker will be back in possession of his communications?  
 _00:29_

Hopefully soon. It’s been keeping me awake.   
Belated congratulations on your marriage. :) So sorry I wasn’t invited. :( :(  
 _00:31_

… _typing_   
Seemed like a good idea at the time :) :) <3  
You expressed some disapproval  
:( :( :(  
 _00:37_

 _… typing  
_ I’m so sorry  
this is Anakin  
Obi-Wan says bye   
have you checked under the bed?????  
guess it might’ve ended up out the window. sorry  
 _00:39_

THE WINDOW?!!!! >:(  
 _00:39_

YOU WERE PRETTY DETERMINED  
 _00:39_

**Padmé Amidala** <senator.amidala@gal.senate.rep>  
to **Nute Gunray**

_7958.10.02_

Dear Sir, 

I regret to inform you that the state of my love life is none of your business, nor does it have any bearing on the affairs of the Galactic Army of the Republic and the planet that swore allegiance to the Confederacy of Independent Systems, Cato Neimoidia. Your allegations that I have in some way convinced Jedi Generals Skywalker and Kenobi to “invade your planet” are baseless. They are part of a legitimate army which has sufficient cause to intercede in the event of aggressive activity against the Galactic Army of the Republic. I do hope that the “messy business” you have referenced in your previous email is not, by Galactic Law, a _war crime_ , for you will have to answer for that when this conflict comes to an end. 

Bless your heart,   
Senator Padmé Amidala of Naboo

**ANI**

are we fucking Obi-Wan?????????  
 _02:07_

What now?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
 _06:01_

Obi-Wan heard it from an aide in the last diner still in our territory  
apparently it’s a thing people are saying  
that we’re fucking Obi-Wan  
us  
and Obi-Wan  
 _06:02_

I would remember that  
Forget about it  
It’s gossip  
 _06:58_

but who started it??????  
 _06:58_

 _I don’t know  
_ The tabloids are relentless  
They even think I’m having an affair with Bail!  
 _07:01_

isn’t he married?  
 _07:01_

**Nuna & Wompa**

**_________________________________________**

**No. 26  
** **Server:** Bo Ozilli’n

 _Caf, 3  
_ … 3 cred

 _Ardees, 1  
_ … 3,00 cred

 _B steak soup, 1  
_ _…_ 9,00 cred

_Omelette, custom_

  * _aquatic sprouts_
  * B’omarr pickles
  * chips, size  
… 12,00 cred



_flatbread, 2_

  * _b fruit jam  
_ _…_ 6,00 cred



_c pep & pum pesto, 1 _

  * _noodles: curly  
_ _…_ 8,00 cred



**Total** … 41,00 cred 

**UNKNOWN NUMBER**

**_[7958.29.02]_ **

Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Meet me at the rendezvous point.  
 _11:12_

who is this?  
 _11:12_

You know who this is  
 _11:12_

Ventress?????  
 _11:13_

Skywalker?  
 _11:13_

why the fuck do you even have this number????? what are you and Obi-Wan doing?????  
 _11:14_

Wrong comcode  
[ ** _Comcode has been blocked_ **]  
 _11:14_

**CT-6116 Medical Report**

**___________**

**No. 000179/6876.225.7008118**

[DATE FILED] _7958.26.03_

[LOCATION] _Murkhana City, Murkhana_

[PATIENT] _Anakin Skywalker, Jedi General of 501st Legion_

[TRAUMA] Puncture wounds with impeded transparisteel on left side: 1 thoracic (between 6th and 7th ribs), severe; 1 upper coxal, moderate; 1 femoral, moderate; 1 brachial, moderate. Incisions from fallen transparisteel on left side: 1 lower dorsal, severe; 1 sural, mild; 1 antebrachial, mild. Fractures: left 6th and 7th ribs, partial; ilium, partial; right ribs 4-7, partial; left carpal, complete; right humerus, lengthwise complete. Pulmonary laceration; hemoptysis. 

[TREATMENT] Sedation; battlefield removal of glass; battlefield application of bacta patches to incisions and puncture wounds; overnight in bacta tank. 

[RECOMMENDATION] Return to Coruscant for intensive care at medical facility.

 **_Signed:_ ** _CT-6116  
_ ** _Date:_ ** _7958.26.03_

**OBI-WAN & SNIPS**

@Skyguy, happy birthday!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)   
be at kitchen at 16:00. this cake won’t make itself.  
 _07:02_

please tell me you don’t plan on making the cake.   
thanks Snips  
 _07:37_

you saying I can’t bake a cake?   
you’re doing it, - Obi-Wan says  
 _07:39_

isn’t it wrong to have a person make his own birthday cake?  
Snips I need you in the hangar  
 _07:41_

but it’s a challenge!!!!!  
 _07:42_

why is cake a challenge???????  
don’t answer  
the hangar Snips  
now  
 _07:45_

fineeeeee  
but you’re coming to the kitchen at 16:00 so it doesn’t go bad  
 _07:47_

…. _typing_

fineeeeee  
 _07:47_

Thank you younglings  
 _07:52_

[DATE FILED] _7958.04.04_

[MEMBER] _Mace Windu, Master_

[LOCATION] _Murkhana City, Murkhana_

[REPORT]

The 187th returned to Coruscant on 7958.04.04 following the establishment of GAR presence in Murkhana City, Murkhana. The 187th, 212th, and 501st were successful in the astroassault against the Separatist blockade over Murkhana’s northern hemisphere, which was led by Droid Army General Grievous on 7958.26.03. Separatist presence remains strong around the Corporate Alliance landing fields and hillsides. GAR presence is based at Argente Tower. Master Obi-Wan Kenobi expressed his hopes before the 187th’s departure that the GAR will be able to prevent further environmental damage to the Murkhana ecosystem.

As of 7958.04.04, I am uncertain of the 212th and 501th’s progress. The last contact from the Murkhana City was an update on 7958.30.03 from Kenobi about the re-established Separatist blockade above planet and Knight Anakin Skywalker’s improved condition. Skywalker intercepted a turbolaser bolt targeted at the 187th Class-C medical frigate and crashed in Murkhana City Park. The 501st medic had him sedated at the time of my departure on 7958.28.03. GAR casualties were 56 (42 clones; no Jedi) with 76 injured (64 clones; 1 Jedi). As of 7958.30.03, there were no Separatist prisoners. 

**_Signed:_ ** _Mace Windu  
_ ** _Date:_ ** _7958.04.04_

**Galactic Republic Navy Damage Report**

**__________________**

**No. 0000017689.227.13**

Complete and return to Risk and Assessment in the Department of Naval Procurement, Senate Building, Federal District, Galactic City, Coruscant.

**Command Jurisdiction:** Jedi Order  
 **Officer Information:**

 **Full Name:** Anakin Skywalker  
 **Rank:** General  
 **Clone Unit No.:** 501

 **Date of Incident:** 7958.26.03  
 **Location:** Murkhana City, Murkhana  
 **Starfighter Class:** ARC-170  
 **Description of Damage:** Complete  
 **Repair:** Y **/N  
** **Replacement: Y/** N

 **Officer filling out this form:** General Anakin Skywalker  
 **Officer signature:** _Anakin Skywalker  
_ **Date of filing:** _7958.06.04_

_Debut Announcement  
_ _Creator & Director: Lando Calrissian _

UPCOMING NONFICTION DRAMA: INTRODUCING THE DASHING ATTEMPTS OF LANDO CALRISSIAN TO WIN THE WAR SINGLE HANDEDLY 

**MON MOTHMA**

Did you text me about Amidala and the Boys because you’re hiding an affair?  
 _09:15_

What?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **  
** _12:03_

_The Solar Times_

NABOO SENATOR PADMÉ AMIDALA PREGNANT? WHO IS THE FATHER?

_Osil Nale | 7958.24.06_

Naboo Senator Padmé Amidala attended the Yerbana Charity Dinner on Benduday night dressed in Gallo Kranaka. The Naboo couturier outdid his last design with a beaded navy dress complete with a stiff hoop and matching belt. Over the dress, she wore a lace navy cloak, but the heavy fabric did nothing to hide the senator’s pregnancy. She has refused to comment on her condition since we at _The Solar Times_ first noticed her change from bodices to maternity wear. Inside sources in the Senate today confirmed for Kol Ayl that Naboo Amidala will soon be taking a leave of absence from her senatorial duties. We have long speculated about the probability that Senator Amidala is pregnant, and calculated that she must be in her sixth month. 

Neither inside sources nor the Senator herself has offered clues to her lover’s identity, though the rumours are rampant among her colleagues. An extra-marital affair with Senator Bail Organa of Alderaan is the popular choice to explain her refusal to comment. The less common, but equally scandalous speculation, for the tight-lipped secrecy is an affair with beloved Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi. Inside sources have assured me that General Kenobi is an unlikely lover due to his strict commitment to what is known as the “Jedi Code,” which, I am told, forbids romance. 

Who is Senator Amidala’s lover? Is he Senator Organa? A spice runner? The reportedly less traditional Jedi General Anakin Skywalker? Or simply an ordinary man wishing to remain outside the public eye?

**THE TEAM**

**_[7958.15.07]_ **

things are pretty bad over here  
 _05:15_

no one can find the Duchess body  
 _13:18_

_The Solar Times_

VICTORY FOR THE REPUBLIC: SUPREME CHANCELLOR SHEEV PALPATINE SAVED AND COUNT DOOKU CAPTURED BY JEDI GENERALS ANAKIN SKYWALKER AND OBI-WAN KENOBI

_Osil Nale | 7958.15.07_

**THE TEAM**

**_[7958.20.07]_ **

Maul is still loose  
 _17:23_

**_[7958.22.07]_ **

Bo-Katan is getting desperate  
 _09:06_

**_[7958.28.07]_ **

lost Maul, lost lots of men  
 _18:36_

**_[7958.02.08]_ **

I’ve got him enroute  
 _05.51_

[DATE FILED] _7958.14.08_

[MEMBER] _Anakin Skywalker, Knight_

[LOCATION] _Coruscant_

[REPORT]

Saw C. in G.O.H. following invitation to see Mon Cala dance (see programme attached). C. asked if the Council ordered me to spy and recited a Sith legend about Darth Plagueis. C. requested a meeting at S.R. on 7958.15.08 at 21:00. ~~C. implied~~

_The Solar Times_

LATE JEDI GENERAL ANAKIN SKYWALKER IMPLICATED IN DOCTORING FOOTAGE OF JEDI COUNCIL’S ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION OF EMPEROR SHEEV PALPATINE

_Osil Nale | 7958.16.08_

**BREHA STARBLOSSOM OF MY LIFE**

My dearest, please retrieve the crib from palace storage. <3 <3 <3  
 _10:17_


End file.
